“KAMATIS” LOVE AFFAIR OF PONCHING AND LINDA GORECHO

If I will submit the love story of my parents to “Maalaala Mo Kaya,” I will use the title “Kamatis.” The wedding line, “Till death do us part” will be replaced by “But death will not set us apart.”

My mother, fondly called Mama Linda, died  on May 17, 2002 due to pericarditis and lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes after almost a month of confinement at the Philippine Heart Center. A year and six months later, my father, Papa Ponching to many, died November 16, 2003 a Sunday, due to pneumonia after being bedridden for almost eight months brought about by complications arising from an operation on his brain (hydrocephalus).

When we were growing up, I remember times when Mama scolded us, “Buti nga kayo di nyo naranasan ang magtinda ng kamatis sa palengke.” Then she would cry. Perhaps, this was her way of saying that whatever the benefits we were enjoying then were due to their hard work..This is something that children have to realize: that parents will sacrifice a lot for the future of the kids. If mama would say the “kamatis” story, Papa, on the other hand, would tell us stories when he was still a security guard in a government agency before they got married in July 1968. Papa was a security guard by day and a student by night taking up library science. When he graduated, he proceeded to be a librarian in the same office until he retired in early 1990s.

People wonder why we have several stuff in our house which Papa did not want to dispose, especially the shoes. Papa justified this by saying that while he was growing up, he never had the luxury of owning new ones since both he and mama came from a family with very modest means. He tried to instill this in us such that long before ukay-ukay became famous, we were already wearing secondhand clothes and shoes, sleeping on beds, sitting on chairs and sofas that papa bought from the secondhand shops in Bangkal. Seldom did we wear brand-new clothes, except maybe during Christmases when our Titas bought us clothing on an installment basis - one Tita would buy us pants while another took care of the shirts. Never mind the shoes, andyan naman ang Bangkal. We became the walking models for ukay-ukay.

All throughout their more than thirty years of marriage, we never saw them engage in physical fights. Although we were accustomed to Mama’s masungit and mataray lines, we knew that was just how they expressed their emotions: only through words and eye contact. Laging sinasabi ni Papa: Bago pa man magkasala si mama sa kanya (siguro sa pagiging mataray ni Mama) pinapatawad na nya si mama. If mama was angry, Papa would just step back. Di nya sasalubungin emotion ni mama. They have a reverse role: Mama took care of the financial well-being of the family while papa was in charge of the spiritual and emotional needs of the children. Mama was the breadwinner and Papa was the house caretaker.

When Mama died in May 2002 , depression ruled over Papa. He refused to go out of the house. He declined to attend the marriage encounter activities and family affairs. His reason was he did not want to remember the times when they used to attend affairs together. The only times when he did go out was during Sundays when we would go to Manila Memorial to visit Mama. After praying the Rosary, we walked around with his payong serving as tungkod. Then he would tell me stories of life, how proud he was of us, his children. He often stressed that he had nothing to give to us but our future. We did not have money but we had the respect of people, especially the fact that two of his sons entered the priesthood, Fr. Philip and Fr. Stephen. At first Mama could not accept the fact that two sons chose to serve the lord but later realized, according to Papa, that they gave up two sons but regained the whole religious order as their new sons and daughters. Tuwang-tuwa sya pag tinatawag sila na Papa and Mama Gorecho. They had five sons and one daughter, two enterered the priesthood, i became a lawyer and the other son went into photography, the business which Papa engaged into while he was alive. Papa too had the same number of siblings: they are four boys in a row and the youngest was also a girl. I was the counterpart of Papa being the second to the eldest.

And when he fell ill, he told me "ready na ako para may kasama si mama ninyo". He died a year and six months later, November 2003.Mama and papa are now in heaven and that they will live happily ever after ‘til eternity.

Nino and papa's music

 "Gigising si Gaspar! Gigising si Gaspar!" Thus the dreamish words classical music legend Fides Cuyugan-Asensio in the Cinemalaya indie film  “Nino” by Director Loy Arcenas.

Cinemalaya has always been my favorite venue for watching  excellent acting, especially from veteran film and stage performers who effortlessly shine in their meticulous characterization of roles. Such is the case of “Nino” by Director Loy Arcenas. His casting boasts of the ever-regal but acting-reclusive Fides Cuyugan-Asensio who pits acting bravura with equally talented but always accessible (you always see them in GMA-7 teleseryes) Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino, Raquel Villavicencio and Tony Mabesa.  Here’s the sysnopsis: 

The Villa Los Reyes Magos, the decaying mansion of the Lopez-Aranzas, is the only remaining emblem of the once illustrious family of Gaspar and his sister Celia. When former congressman Gaspar slips into a coma, his opera doyenne sister Celia waits for a miracle through her grandson Antony, who she clads in Sto. Niño garb. But harsh reality in the figures of their children, Merced, Mombic, and Raquel, pushes the inevitable: the impending sale of the mansion to give way to a commercial venture. Celia wages her last battle to regain the glory of the past by hosting a splendid tertulla, her final eulogy to her own moribund class.

 I believe the role of Celia was tailor-made for Fides Cuyugan-Asensio, what with the character’s penchant for opera singing and the like. I also like the representation of the Sto. Nino in child performer Jhiz Deocareza while he is running around the old house with a wood sword and caped/crowned just like the Child Jesus. And in a family drama like this, you can’t help but be engrossed not only with the story, but with how differing personalities are fleshed out on the big screen. I like the scene of the gathering of old friends who sang to Gaspar  serenading him as if it is a grand opera night before he died.

Tony Mabesa's role playing of a person in coma is somewhat a replication of our family experience.   My father fell into coma for almost eight months before he died in November 2003.  A year and six months after mama’s death, my father, Papa Ponching to many, died  November 16, 2003 a Sunday, due to pneumonia after being bedridden for almost eight months brought about by complications arising from an operation on his brain (hydrocephalus). I have told relatives and friends that  Papa could have been dead during the second week of April due to the gravity of the hydrocephalus  if not for that incident when he fell from our stairs. Maybe Mama pushed him so that the hydrocephalus and tumor could be detected. '

Music is papa's world and passion. He will always sing to us old songs of his generations. He brags that he always won during competitions and his fond memories with his guitars and choirs.   I vividly remember when i was a child is his penchant to singing of lullabyes for us to sleep. Then on weekends our house will be filled with reverberating music from his collection of long playing albums of old songs.

 During the early days of his coma, we were given the option to remove the (breathing) tubes since they said that he will not wake up. But we held on our faith. Then one day, he started to talk though soft and slow until  he became normal for only a short period. We asked him what he remembered during the time that he was in coma. He said that he just remembered the voice of Beng-Beng or Bro.Stephen. Since Beng-Beng was based in Australia and he could come home due to his religious obligations there, I just I asked him to send us a cassette tape which recorded his recitation of the Holy Rosary, songs of praise and words of wisdom.It is said that when  a person is in coma, or he is in  the brink of death, the last sense that he will lose is the sense of hearing. Thus, the popular superstition that if someone is going to die, whisper to his ears words of love and kindness which will he will bring in his journey to the afterlife.

When we were growing up, I remember times when Mama scolded us, “Buti nga kayo di nyo naranasan ang magtinda ng kamatis sa palengke.” Then she would cry. Perhaps, this was her way of saying that whatever the benefits we were enjoying then were due to their hard work..This is something that children have to realize: that parents will sacrifice a lot for the future of the kids. If mama would say the “kamatis” story, Papa, on the other hand, would tell us stories when he was still a security guard in a government agency before they got married in July 1968. Papa was a security guard by day and a student by night taking up library science. When he graduated, he proceeded to be a librarian in the same office until he retired in early 1990s.

"Gigising si  Papa! Gigisng si Papa!" perhaps will be my version of Fides Cuyugan's lines.  Faith is always the best weapon.

Happy Birthday Papa

 If papa  is still alive today, he should have been celebrating his 74th birthday today, August 2. He died at the age of 65 nine years ago, or on November 16,2003.

 

In my blog “KAMATIS” LOVE AFFAIR OF PONCHING AND LINDA GORECHO I wrote that if I will submit the love story of my parents to “Maalaala Mo Kaya,” I will use the title “Kamatis.” The wedding line, “Till death do us part” will be replaced by “But death will not set us apart.” All throughout their more than thirty years of marriage, we never saw them engage in physical fights. Although we were accustomed to Mama’s masungit and mataray lines, we knew that was just how they expressed their emotions: only through words and eye contact. Laging sinasabi ni Papa: Bago pa man magkasala si mama sa kanya (siguro sa pagiging mataray ni Mama) pinapatawad na nya si mama. If mama was angry, Papa would just step back. Di nya sasalubungin emotion ni mama.

When we were growing up, I remember times when Mama scolded us, “Buti nga kayo di nyo naranasan ang magtinda ng kamatis sa palengke.” Then she would cry. Perhaps, this was her way of saying that whatever the benefits we were enjoying then were due to their hard work..This is something that children have to realize: that parents will sacrifice a lot for the future of the kids. If mama would say the “kamatis” story, Papa, on the other hand, would tell us stories when he was still a security guard in a government agency before they got married in July 1968. Papa was a security guard by day and a student by night taking up library science. When he graduated, he proceeded to be a librarian in the same office until he retired in early 1990s.

People wonder why we have several stuff in our house which Papa did not want to dispose, especially the shoes. Papa justified this by saying that while he was growing up, he never had the luxury of owning new ones since both he and mama came from a family with very modest means. He tried to instill this in us such that long before ukay-ukay became famous, we were already wearing secondhand clothes and shoes, sleeping on beds, sitting on chairs and sofas that papa bought from the secondhand shops in Bangkal. Seldom did we wear brand-new clothes, except maybe during Christmases when our Titas bought us clothing on an installment basis - one Tita would buy us pants while another took care of the shirts. Never mind the shoes, andyan naman ang Bangkal. We became the walking models for ukay-ukay.

 My mother, fondly called Mama Linda, died last year on May 17, 2002 due to pericarditis and lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes after almost a month of confinement at the Philippine Heart Center. A year and six months later, my father, Papa Ponching to many, died last year, November 16, 2003 a Sunday, due to pneumonia after being bedridden for almost eight months brought about by complications arising from an operation on his brain (hydrocephalus).

Happy father's day...

Dog Bite and Car incident on April 15, a not-so-ordinary day

Last Friday, April 15, 2011 should have been one ordinary day. But it turned out it was not.

At 9:30 a.m., I was slightly bitten in my right leg by my neighbor’s pet dog, the mini dachshund breed . At first I thought it was only a scratch but the spot turned black and I felt some pain. We immediately washed and applied some first aid. I still felt the pain while driving and combined with paranoia for the possible effect of the dogbite’s rabies, I accidentally swide swiped a 52-year old lady on my way to work at the Baclaran area and was forced to rush her to the nearby San Juan de Dios Hospital. Fortunately, she only had minor bruises in the ankle area and no major injury. While  chatting at  the hospital, I apologized to her for the accident and she said that she is not mad since “mabait naman ako.” What perhaps helped to ease the tension was the fact that she has siblings who are seafarers and I told her I am a lawyer for seafarers and we are the legal counsel of the church based organization, Apostleship of the Sea. Plus I have two brother priests. The hospital emergency bill: Almost P3,000 pesos. After  the accident, I went to Makati medical center to attend to the dog bite: the cost 5 injections of verorab at P1,600 per injectible , or P 8,000.00 plus a little less than a thousand for the antibiotics and antitetanus. 

During our conversation at the San Juan De Dios Hospital, it was only then that I remembered that April 15 was not just an ordinary day. 

April 15, 2002 was when we brought Mama for the first time to the hospital.  My mother, fondly called Mama Linda, died l on May 17, 2002 due to pericarditis and lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes after almost a month of confinement at the Philippine Heart Center.  On April 14, 2003, papa  was rushed to Las Piñas City Medical Center after falling down from the stairs — a day short of the one full year from mama’s hospitalization. A year and six months after mama’s death, my father, Papa Ponching to many, died  November 16, 2003 a Sunday, due to pneumonia after being bedridden for almost eight months brought about by complications arising from an operation on his brain (hydrocephalus). I have told relatives and friends that  Papa could have been dead during the second week of April due to the gravity of the hydrocephalus  if not for that incident when he fell from our stairs. Maybe Mama pushed him so that the hydrocephalus and tumor could be detected.

In my blog “KAMATIS” LOVE AFFAIR OF PONCHING AND LINDA GORECHO I wrote that if I will submit the love story of my parents to “Maalaala Mo Kaya,” I will use the title “Kamatis.” The wedding line, “Till death do us part” will be replaced by “But death will not set us apart.” All throughout their more than thirty years of marriage, we never saw them engage in physical fights. Although we were accustomed to Mama’s masungit and mataray lines, we knew that was just how they expressed their emotions: only through words and eye contact. Laging sinasabi ni Papa: Bago pa man magkasala si mama sa kanya (siguro sa pagiging mataray ni Mama) pinapatawad na nya si mama. If mama was angry, Papa would just step back. Di nya sasalubungin emotion ni mama.

When we were growing up, I remember times when Mama scolded us, “Buti nga kayo di nyo naranasan ang magtinda ng kamatis sa palengke.” Then she would cry. Perhaps, this was her way of saying that whatever the benefits we were enjoying then were due to their hard work..This is something that children have to realize: that parents will sacrifice a lot for the future of the kids. If mama would say the “kamatis” story, Papa, on the other hand, would tell us stories when he was still a security guard in a government agency before they got married in July 1968. Papa was a security guard by day and a student by night taking up library science. When he graduated, he proceeded to be a librarian in the same office until he retired in early 1990s.

People wonder why we have several stuff in our house which Papa did not want to dispose, especially the shoes. Papa justified this by saying that while he was growing up, he never had the luxury of owning new ones since both he and mama came from a family with very modest means. He tried to instill this in us such that long before ukay-ukay became famous, we were already wearing secondhand clothes and shoes, sleeping on beds, sitting on chairs and sofas that papa bought from the secondhand shops in Bangkal. Seldom did we wear brand-new clothes, except maybe during Christmases when our Titas bought us clothing on an installment basis - one Tita would buy us pants while another took care of the shirts. Never mind the shoes, andyan naman ang Bangkal. We became the walking models for ukay-ukay.

Perhaps the two incidents this morning, the dog bite and the car accident,  were my parents’ “reminder” that April 15 is a date to be remembered. So,  I attended the 7pm mass at greenbelt chapel and prayed for them.

Latin mass, anyone?

More often than not, my brother priest, Fr. Stephen will celebrate for us a mass  in the form of what is known as the Tridentine Mass, the Traditional Mass or the Latin Mass.

Their order, Oblates of Alliance of Two Hearts, somewhat can be called as those of Traditionalist Catholics. They are Roman Catholics who believe that there should be a restoration of many or all of the liturgical forms, public and private devotions and presentations of Catholic teachings which prevailed in the Catholic Church before the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965).

One noticeable feature of the mass is that the priest is not facing the crowd but he is facing the crucifix, as my brother will explain “so that the devotees will focus on the cross and not the priest.”

In 2007, Pope Benedict XVI issued a much-anticipated decision in an attempt to win back disaffected conservatives and to unite the church. Vatican officials said it is also a reflection of Benedict's personal preference for traditional liturgy and incantations in Latin, a language he extols as beautiful and holy. "What earlier generations held as sacred remains sacred and great for us too, and it cannot be all of a sudden entirely forbidden or even considered harmful," the pope wrote in the decree.

The story has it that if there is one priest in the family, the whole clan is blessed up to the third generation. In our case, we not only had one but two brothers into priesthood
I remember the story oftenly told by my father when he was alive, of how proud he was of us, his children. He often stressed that he had nothing to give to us but our future. We did not have money but we had the respect of people, especially the fact that two of his sons entered the priesthood, Fr. Philip and Fr. Stephen. I am still not used to calling them Father, i still prefer "Kuya Wel and Bengbeng." At first Mama could not accept the fact that two sons chose to serve the lord but later realized, according to Papa, that they gave up two sons but regained the whole religious order as their new sons and daughters. Tuwang-tuwa sya pag tinatawag sila na Papa and Mama Gorecho. They had five sons and one daughter, two enterered the priesthood, i became a lawyer and the other son went into photography, the business which Papa engaged into while he was alive. Papa too had the same number of siblings: they are four boys in a row and the youngest was also a girl. I was the counterpart of Papa being the second to the eldest.

I think i will have to polish my latin so will not use the "codigo" during mass, or the english translation on the other side of the booklet. What is overwhelming is the gregorian chants, or something like that, repertoire of the seminarian choir. It adds solemnity to the affair.