You know you went to UP LAW if....

 For convenience of fellow UP Lawyers, i am reposting edited versions of  "You know you went to UP LAW if". from .http://www.facebook.com/groups/uplaw

My first group of answers belong to the thread " you have heard 1001 ways of classroom humiliation. My favorite quip from my professor is....

• that's bullshit iha."
• Mr. ____, please close the door! Can't you see Mr. ___'s IQ is leaving the door?
• oi, hija, sa panahon ng pentium eh 286 ka lang. :-)
• do that again and i'm going to bang your head on the wall!!!
• What year were you born??? Yes, i remember distinctly. There was an acute shortage of iodine at that time....
• "you have the logic of a balut vendor"
• ‎"Is that how you answer? Cum laude ka pa naman!!!" (not to me, kasi hindi ako cum laude...)
• Prof. Baviera, (after a student read the digest when called to recite the case): You know class, during our time, we had a separate reading class.
• Prof. Baltik (Evidence class): "You are like a Shakesperean actor who had been bugging his director to give him a speaking line. When he was finally given one, instead of saying 'Hark, is that a cannon I hear?' he said "Fuck, is that cannon I hear?' because he was so nervous!"
• Mr. X, have you ever been in a beer house where all the waitresses were nekkid?
• What rules are you reading? The Iraqi rules of court?
• from baltic: ms. panganiban! you giggle better than you recite!
• you know what you should do with your rules of court? you should tear out the pages, boil it, and DRINK IT!
• Baltic: Ang tatanga ninyo! Saan kayo nag-aral ng law? Sagot ng klase: Sir, sa UP!
• From Mam Avena: Hay naku Mr./Ms. ________, Sit down! (Parang ang daming unsaid inaults when you hear it)
• Baltic: Ms. X, when you top the bar and have your picture taken for the newspapers in that exact outfit and in that exact pose, your byline will say, "I topped the bar in my Triumph!"
• Prof. Baviera: Mr. X, lakasan mo pa yung niraradyo mo kay Mr. Y. Hindi niya marinig. Para na tuloy siyang Leaning Tower of Pisa.
• On the last day of classes, "big-boned" Mr. A invites Prof. Baviera to have lunch with the entire block. She retorts, "Kaya ka lumalaki, puro pagkain ang nasa isip mo."
• Prof. Pekto Fernandez: "Your answer is as clear as fog."
• ‎"Houston, we have a problem..."
• Mam Avena: Mr./Ms.___, i'll make sakal u.
• Prof. Ed Labitag: "Ok, class? You understand? Good.....This is just like casting pearls to swine..."
• You bozos!" (Siguro iba yung magiging effect kung tinagalog na lang kasi. Hindi masyadong nakakatawa eh. LOL)
• In Consti I, habang walang nakakasagot kay Prof. VV, kumidlat at nagbrownout: "This darkness reflects the intellectual state of this class!"
• Student: "Ma'am, patingin ng class card ko." Prof. Baviera: "Sigurado ka bang gusto mo makita? Baka himatayin ka!"
• Guess the prof: I always thought UP was the Harvard of the Philippines. But this class! You're not Harvard! You're not Yale! You're not even Michigan! My son who is a high school student in Ateneo is smarter than all of you! Do you hear me? HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU!
• Buti pa sumali ka na lang dyan sa concert sa sunken garden. Mas bagay sa iyo mag rock star. -- Jacinto in nego evening class during up fair, to a long haired student
• ‎"Maganda ka naman, Ms. ___. Mag model ka nalang." Danny Con
• Buti pa Mr P, mag-artista ka na lang.
  EP: Sir, artista talaga ako.
  DC: (tahimik)
• ‎"Ito yata ang masamang naidulot ng Nutribun."
• ‎"You also graduated from the high school across the Sunken Garden?" Pekto
• student: ma'am, magtuturo pa po kayo next sem?
  prof baviera: kung buhay pa ko!
• Danny Con: Hoy, Ms. B at Mr. C. Kanina pa kayo nagdadaldalan jan. Tigilan n’yo na ‘yang puchi-puchi n’yo. *footsie-footsie*
• Corpo Law: Professor asks, Ano naman ang kaibahan ng Special sa Regular Meeting? Answers his own question, Yun bang Special may ice cream
  sa ibabaw yung Regular wala?
• , high school ba sinabi niya? I thought it was another law school in Manila. Hahaha! Grabe yun araw na yun, high blood talaga siya. Nag-walk out yata siya that day.
• prof. baviera: o, ano, mr. __________? sagot! sa laki ng ulo mong yan, me laman naman siguro yan, 'no?
• Prof Ambion to student who got the right answer: "Put#%!+^*, where did you learn that?"
• Reeeeally ?!?! - Haydee Yorac
• Balbastro: "Go ahead, if you dare, and ask me another question! Would you like another FIVE?"
• Prof. Yorac to a classmate who was trying to sit down after giving an incorrect answer --"what are you doing? STAND UP! You still have to earn your 5!!!
• ‎"Stupid boy!"
• ‎"To a student reading a Civil Law commentary during recitation in SuccessionWhen you passed the entrance exam for this college, we already knew that you know how to read, so you don't have to demonstrate your reading ability to the class." -- Prof Yorac
• Student (upon getting called): "Sir, can I pass?"
  Prof. Rivera: "Yes, you can. But first, you have to recite."
• ‎"The only illumination in this room are the lights."r Prof Baviera to classmate who was running out of words: "Hay naku. Sige, Tagalugin mo na lang!"
• Prof. Magallona (PRIL): Ah, Mr. Paglinawan, our post-modern philosopher, you look so cheerful tonight. You must know double renvoi by heart... Me: (Fumbling for the outline) Sir I thought we are discussing lex loci celebrationis tonight? PM: The rest of the class will be, after you tell us what double renvoi is all about. Me: (Oh feck.) PM: Go on. Cheerfully, now.
• when you give the wrong answer: "Is that so?"
• In Persons, "Mr.______ was the name of the male child really Jewel? O Bisaya ka lang?"
• Dean Agabin to my friend Bobo before taking the Bar: 'Mr. Amora, we are counting on you!' and upon seeing me he said 'good luck'
• Prof. Jacinto (in his big booming voice): "Ms. ________, pag inatake ako sa puso, kasalanan mooooo!"
• almost all the professors i met while I was reviewing for the bar in 1999 told me - stop reading those damn books, you are wasting your time mr velasco, let us just drink. you will never make it
• then when I passed the bar, they all went back to me and congratulated me and told me that all their encouragement worked! hahahahahahaha, i could not agree more
• She definitely said Ateneo high school. How can I forget? I was her personal punching bag, remember? She called me a myriad of names everyday: weak, stupid, slow. My personal favorite was: "godDAMNIT!" tapos walkout. I still believe I passed the bar because I could hear her voice screaming the provisions at me.Lol
•  Prof. Myrna - - "O ano Mr. ___ ? Nakanganga ka nanaman diyan?"
• Ma'm Beth in the 1st Persons joint class (1st sem, 1st yr of law school) to a pretty girl who just happened to stifle a yawn in class: "You! I could see your tonsils from here! Didn't your parents teach you manners?"
• Dean Marvic, to a student he sent out the previous meeting: "O, Mr. ____, diba pinalabas kita last meeting? What are you doing here?!"
  Student: (flustered) "Sir, I thought...." (Professor cuts him off in midsentence)
  Dean Marvic: "You THOUGHT?!!!! Get out!"
• , do you remember the time that we were both reciting, I got off easy and you were given hell.
• Prof. Barry Gutierrez: "So? So what? What's your basis???"
• Prof. Ambion: "Yah? Yah! Yah! Say Yes! You are not in Russia!"
• Prof. Tony Bautista in Freshman Legal Biblio: "This is the weeding stage. Someday you will thank me for failing you and preventing you from wasting your time in law school."
• After a classmate had been presenting his report for 15 minutes, he dramatically paused to ask the class: "Any question classmates?" Prof. Magallona: "You haven't said anything yet, you already want questions?"
• Prof. Domeng Disini in Labor 2: "Let's see what Izzy Does It has to say...how about Gotta Lobit?" (
• Before there was an Anti-Sexual Harassment Law, sexual harassment was already being committed in the classrooms (forget the nullum poena sine lege thing). Prof. J--in Sales class asked a student a question. Student: Come again, Sir?
  Prof: How do you know I came?
• a classmate in our Crim Law class asked the same question. Our professor's answer was "That might be a little hard to do!"
• Jacinto in Corp: Pu@#$%^&*! Anong rahmeeh? (how the student pronounced ramie) RAMIE!
• Your wonderful professor in the late 70's included one who would come to class sometimes wearing a lt. colonel's uniform under JAGO, the no. l criminal lawyer at that time who wore a suit all the time and would ride only in 8-cylinder lincokn continental and mercedes bens cars, a former lady senator from Bicol, future lady justices of the Supreme Court, renaissance metrosexual ascetic (contradictions?), Harvard genius-eccentric, and a likeable lady exuding the happy blend of ivory tower and la vida loca. Oh la la!
• Prof. Flery Romero to my classmate: "Considering these facts, can you file a case in court?" Answer of my classmate who did not study: " Yes, Ma'am, but it wouldn't prosper". (laughter from the class). Prof. Romero: "And why?". Answer of ignorant classmate: "Because the court will probably deny his prayer based on facts". (Uproarious horselaughter from class ecstatic with unmitigated and purest glee). The glibly ignorant classmate earned a big, unadulterated and fantastic grade of 5.
• "You may keep the questionnaire as a reminder of your brief stay in the College of Law."
• sir, you were the one who put that line in your exam questionnaire, if I remember correctly.
• Prof. Domeng Disini: "Why don't you just sing your answer, Ms Baldrias?"
• Malcolm Hall is no nunnery or seminary. It is a phrenic chambers of tortures designed to mold namby-pambies into the best lawyers in the country.
• "Misterso and so, why be a lawyer when you can be a ___ vendor (fill in the blank with 'sampaguita', cigarette, barb-Q, banana-Q, etc, our class each had one)
• "Ms. ____, nakita kita kanina... lakas ng loob mong mag-kimona. Anong akala mo sa sarili mo, mestiza??? Bagay sa iyo patadyong."
• Prof Baviera: Mr. ________, wala ka pang tamang sagot. Civil law review na ito wala ka pa ring alam. Bobo ka ba? Dapat siguro ibalik ka sa first year.
• Prof. Baviera: Mr. ______, kahit gaano kalakas mo isigaw, mali pa rin ang sagot mo.
• ‎"Mr. _______, niraradyohan ka na nga, mali pa ang sagot mo?!"
• In Crim Law class with Prof. Muyot at the "bat room." Prof. Muyot: What is that smell? Class: Sir, guano. Mr. X: Sir, don't you know that guano costs a fortune? Prof. Muyot: Mr. X, I give you full authority to excavate the guano from the ceiling!!!
• Student: "Sir, I'm confused." Prof. Magallona: "You don't look confused, you look BLANK!"
• After a long harangue on how ignorant and uneducated we were and on how we should read the great literary works, Prof. Balane: "Ms. Vyva, have you read Waiting for Godot?" Vyva: "Yes, sir." Prof. Balane: "In English or in French?" Vyva: "In both sir." Prof. Balane: *tahimik*
• Wow Vyva!
• the late esteban bautista, -to comprehend your answer, I am compelled to drink liquor. Thats a five, sit down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Dean Marvin (to a terrified freshman block): My 11-month old daughter knows more about the Constitution than you do!!!!!!!

 AND MORE......You know You went to UP Law...

when you learned how to appreciate the beauty and humor in collective misery. :)

sinubukan mong mambola ng prof. at least once during recitation,

You check each Ph100 bill if it has the UP Law centennial commemorative logo and to your dismay, the most recent series carries the logo of the other law school.

You saw the most ingenious and creative ways of writing case digests for the digest pool: merong gumawa ng illustrated (komiks) digest; merong gumawa ng tiniest digest (sa wrapper ng juicy fruit gum) itatago ko na lang siya sa pangalang Joel... hahaha! Merong gumawa ng 3 pages na digest kahit 2 pages lang yung original! Merong nagpazerox mismo ng original at inunderline na lang yung facts, issue, ruling at ratio decidendi. At ang pinaka-ma-abilidad sa lahat: ang nakakadilihensiya ng digest sa ibang section!

 you know and can attest that Prof. Sammy Barlongay is one of the best, dedicated, revered and well-loved professors of law... and life. :

one of the most memorable quotes i have ever heard from an alumnus, with all the loyalty he can muster, was one from the late Prof. Perfecto Fernandez. Reflecting on the legal, or rather, in his view, the illegal rationale for martial law, he said in our constitutional law class: "Outside U. P. is.....darkness..."

 

if you heard this story - one time Prof Fernandez was doing something to his chair while sitting down and delivering a lecture, all of sudden, he falls down from his chair and the whole class, gasped in shock and horror, then here comes a finger grasping the table and then a hand and an arm finally to see the great Pekto rising above the table and saying - and you thought I was dead ah.

You know by heart the words of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes inscribed at the main lobby wall of Malcolm Hall.

 You came back to Malcolm Hall 20 years after graduation and you are overwhelmed by nostalgia and affection upon seeing the building. Whereas when you were still a student, you hated entering daily the building you considered as an unrelenting chamber of mental tortures.

Hindi ka nakapag-aral ng mabuti para sa exams mo, kaya ang mga sagot mo ay puro "from the heart." Syempre hindi puede ang "from the heart" for the bar exams. Later on, you realize that "from the heart" actually meant stock knowledge, kasi hindi mo naman talaga maaalala lahat para sa bar, pero kahit papaano may alam ka pala!

you wear red or green on exam days! (or some superstitious junk like that. :P )

You look at the forest, and not the trees!

‎...if you know the professor who shows you how wrong you answer is by asking you: "are you JOKENING?" And if you insist on your answer, he will say: "ah, you'll never pass the bar if that's your answer..."

you have grandparents or parents who went to UP Law who were also students of Prof Baviera

Maam Beth corrected the way you said "certiorari" :)

 ...your poker-faced PIL professor made comments such as "What have I said to deserve such an answer?" or "Let's pretend you didn't say that."

you're so proud to have known of the works of Manresa and Sánchez Román and then go to Spain and talk with young lawyers there, and find out that they even haven't heard of those 19th century civili law jurists since Spanish law schools don't use their books anymore, there's a whole new breed of Spanish jurists being taught and quoted in the Spanish legal system today

 Opposing lawyers now check you out on Facebook before they come to your meeting for amicable settlement. (Some of them would even go as far as "Atty. Paglinawan, kayo ba si Ahmedy? Di nyo kamukha yung profile pic nyo.") Bangggggg.