If I will submit the love story of my parents to “Maalaala Mo Kaya,” I will use the title “Kamatis.” The wedding line, “Till death do us part” will be replaced by “But death will not set us apart.”
My mother, fondly called Mama Linda, died on May 17, 2002 due to pericarditis and lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes after almost a month of confinement at the Philippine Heart Center. A year and six months later, my father, Papa Ponching to many, died November 16, 2003 a Sunday, due to pneumonia after being bedridden for almost eight months brought about by complications arising from an operation on his brain (hydrocephalus).
When we were growing up, I remember times when Mama scolded us, “Buti nga kayo di nyo naranasan ang magtinda ng kamatis sa palengke.” Then she would cry. Perhaps, this was her way of saying that whatever the benefits we were enjoying then were due to their hard work..This is something that children have to realize: that parents will sacrifice a lot for the future of the kids. If mama would say the “kamatis” story, Papa, on the other hand, would tell us stories when he was still a security guard in a government agency before they got married in July 1968. Papa was a security guard by day and a student by night taking up library science. When he graduated, he proceeded to be a librarian in the same office until he retired in early 1990s.
People wonder why we have several stuff in our house which Papa did not want to dispose, especially the shoes. Papa justified this by saying that while he was growing up, he never had the luxury of owning new ones since both he and mama came from a family with very modest means. He tried to instill this in us such that long before ukay-ukay became famous, we were already wearing secondhand clothes and shoes, sleeping on beds, sitting on chairs and sofas that papa bought from the secondhand shops in Bangkal. Seldom did we wear brand-new clothes, except maybe during Christmases when our Titas bought us clothing on an installment basis - one Tita would buy us pants while another took care of the shirts. Never mind the shoes, andyan naman ang Bangkal. We became the walking models for ukay-ukay.
All throughout their more than thirty years of marriage, we never saw them engage in physical fights. Although we were accustomed to Mama’s masungit and mataray lines, we knew that was just how they expressed their emotions: only through words and eye contact. Laging sinasabi ni Papa: Bago pa man magkasala si mama sa kanya (siguro sa pagiging mataray ni Mama) pinapatawad na nya si mama. If mama was angry, Papa would just step back. Di nya sasalubungin emotion ni mama. They have a reverse role: Mama took care of the financial well-being of the family while papa was in charge of the spiritual and emotional needs of the children. Mama was the breadwinner and Papa was the house caretaker.
When Mama died in May 2002 , depression ruled over Papa. He refused to go out of the house. He declined to attend the marriage encounter activities and family affairs. His reason was he did not want to remember the times when they used to attend affairs together. The only times when he did go out was during Sundays when we would go to Manila Memorial to visit Mama. After praying the Rosary, we walked around with his payong serving as tungkod. Then he would tell me stories of life, how proud he was of us, his children. He often stressed that he had nothing to give to us but our future. We did not have money but we had the respect of people, especially the fact that two of his sons entered the priesthood, Fr. Philip and Fr. Stephen. At first Mama could not accept the fact that two sons chose to serve the lord but later realized, according to Papa, that they gave up two sons but regained the whole religious order as their new sons and daughters. Tuwang-tuwa sya pag tinatawag sila na Papa and Mama Gorecho. They had five sons and one daughter, two enterered the priesthood, i became a lawyer and the other son went into photography, the business which Papa engaged into while he was alive. Papa too had the same number of siblings: they are four boys in a row and the youngest was also a girl. I was the counterpart of Papa being the second to the eldest.
And when he fell ill, he told me "ready na ako para may kasama si mama ninyo". He died a year and six months later, November 2003.Mama and papa are now in heaven and that they will live happily ever after ‘til eternity.
